"I'm anxious to understand what you want me to understand."

One story explains the art of listen--and the value it brings to others.  The story comes from Stephen Covey's book, The 8th Habit.

I will never forget being invited by a very prestigious, high-level executive to give my analysis and recommendations regarding the selection of a new university president.  It was one of the most profound communication experiences I've ever had.  He left his office to come into the outer office, where I was awaiting my appointment.  After greeting me, he graciously ushered me into his office and had me sit right next to him, in front of his desk, where we could talk eye-to-eye without any physcial structure between us.  He basically said, "Stephen, thank-you so much for coming in.  I'm anxious to understand whatever you want me to understand."


I had prepared for this visit for a considerable period of time and had developed an outline of my presentation.  I gave him a copy of the outline and covered it slowly, point by point.  Except for a few clarifying questions, he never interrupted.  He listened so intently and completely that when my thirty-minute presentation was over, I felt completely understand.  He made absolutely no comment --neither agreeing, disagreeing, or committing.  But at the end he simply stood up, looked me in the eye, and, as he shook my hand, expressed how much he appreciated and admired me.  That was it.  I was profoundly moved by his openness, humility, graciousness and deep listening, and overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and loyalty.  Because I felt so completely understood and knew and my input had been genuinely listened to and respected, I was fully prepared to support whatever decision was made.