If You Know Someone Who Loves Chaos & Drama, Read this...

By Ages 5-7, “Brain Wiring” is largely in place.  


Frank Trieber, from the Medical College of Georgia, found that if you come from a family that’s chaotic, unstable, not cohesive, harboring grudges, very early on, the early brain becomes “hardwired” to deal with fear.  

These children become adults who feel empty or bored, if not on edge.

The Kindest Act...Saying "No"...

One of life's important skill? Learning to say no. 

Do you find yourself living a life of obligations, exhausted from trying to please others?

When we define "being nice" as "being all things to all people," we overcommit, living the priorities of others. Getting comfortable with the discomfort, we don't consciously realize how we are diminishing the quality of our life.

"By trying to be everywhere at once, I am nowhere. By trying to be everyone to many, I am no one."

The solution?
Redefine "nice" and "polite." Practice honest, principle-centered dialogue.

Saying "no" is the kindest act you can do for yourself and others. Authenticity means saying what you mean and meaning what you say as it aligns to the greater principles of integrity and compassion. While it's easier said than done, you will be amazed at the level of respect you gain by establishing new, consistent boundaries based on truthfulness and integrity.

On Courage

"Do not fear death so much, but rather an inadequate life."

Courage is vital for survival and requires acts of bravery in some form. A great act of courage is to step up and repair fragile, important relationships.

Too often people take pride in holding grudges, expending wasteful energy on further polarizing even the most significant relationships.

Be the brave one to re-open dialogue by initiating and keeping the conversations going.
Have the conversation that you are afraid of having. Chances are it is long overdo and it will be easier than you think.

Getting to What's Important...

A young concert violinist was asked the secret of her success. She replied, “Planned neglect.” Then she explained, “When I was in school, there were so many things that demanded my time. When I went to my room after breakfast, I made my bed, straightened the room, dusted the floor, addressed others' issues, and did whatever else came to my attention. Then I hurried to my violin practice. I found I wasn’t progressing as I thought I should, so I deliberately neglected everything else. That program of planned neglect, I believe, accounts for my success.”

The challenge: Neglecting unimportant things to get to what's important.

The Thin Veil of Vulnerability

Vulnerability: open to moral attack, criticism, temptation

Our Guard-- we let it down when we feel safe and the conversations are easy; we raise it high when we feel threatened.

It's life's greatest defensive tool to guard us against unwanted predators who may bully, belittle, condescend, or patronize us.

It's also our greatest offensive tool to build trust necessary for strong, positive relationships in the context of a safe, open space.

Self-confidence is the great leveler that enables us to gain judgment on what is the right level of vulnerability. Judgment improves only when we stop being afraid to invite others in to get to know us. It’s also confidence--not egocentrism—that will reduce an unhealthy need to snare relationships with neediness and sympathy.

I Tell The Truth Except.....

When I pretend a love I do not feel.
When I present myself more than I am.
When I laugh when I need to cry.
When I pretend to be helpless and the truth is that I'm manipulative.
When I stay 'blind' to affect my awareness.
When I pretend to 'know.'
When I pretend 'not to know.'
When I say I'm angry and the truth is...I'm afraid.
When I spend unnecessary time with people I don't like.
When I present myself with having 'values' I do not feel or hold.
When I'm kind to everyone except those I profess to love.
When I fake beliefs to win acceptance.
When I fake modesty or arrogance.
When I allow my silence to imply agreement with convictions I do not share.

Science Supports Talknology Tips

Your child's cumulative experience up to age three has a huge impact on later achievement. Start early and continue 5 habits of success.

1. SPEAK TO AND READ TO YOUR CHILD EARLY AND OFTEN A study revealed that children in professional homes were exposed to an average of more than 1500 more spoken words per hour than children from low socioeconomic homes. Over a year, that equals to 8 million words more and by age four, it will be 32 million more words, with a huge gap in the compexity of the words.  
2. SPEAK IN POSITIVE TONES of ENCOURAGEMENT Up to age 4, the average child from a professional family receives 560,000 more instances of encouraging feedback than discouraging feedback; a working class child receives merely 100,000 more encouragements than discouragements; a low socioeconomic child receives 125,000 more discouragements than encouragements.  
3. SET HIGH EXPECTATIONS Children develop only as the environment demands development.  
4. HELP THEM EMBRACE FAILURE In the process of attaining high standards, setbacks must be seen as learning. This gives each child "built-in resiliance," protecting them from a defeating sense of failure.(Stop saving them from failure.)  
5. ENCOURAGE SELF-RELIANCE Help them understand they are the directors of their own life through a series of choices. *Surveys from The Genius in All of Us